


Hold Me

by OswinTheStrange



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 07:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11481531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OswinTheStrange/pseuds/OswinTheStrange
Summary: Rowena shows up at the bunker after the events of 12x23, needing help and comfort from Reader.





	Hold Me

Everything had gone to hell. Lucifer’s kid was in the wind. Mary was stuck in an alternate universe with Lucifer. Castiel and Crowley were dead…and so was Rowena.

 

The very thought sent pain shooting to your heart and tears to your eyes. Lucifer’s words of what he’d done to her echoed in your head. You’d been able to keep yourself together while you’d gone after Lucifer, your fury driving you. Now, you sat in the library in the bunker, pouring over books for any scrap of information that could be useful. You knew there was no way in heaven or hell that the Men of Letters had any information that could offer help on the entire situation, but it was better than doing nothing.

 

“Y/N,” Sam said, walking into the library, “maybe you should get some rest.” You ignored him, continuing to read. “Y/N!” Sam repeated, louder.

 

You looked up at him, glaring. “What?” you snapped.

 

“You need rest. We all do,” Sam said.

 

“I’m not tired,” you muttered, looking back down at the books.

 

“Maybe not right now, but sooner or later you’re gonna crash,” Sam said.

 

“What do you want from me, Sam? The nephilim is in the wind, Mary is stuck in an alternate universe, we have no way of putting Lucifer back in his cage, and our best friends are d…not here. I can’t just sit here and do nothing!” you shouted.

 

Sam was silent for a moment, then he sat down across from you. “This is about Rowena, isn’t it?”

 

“Shut up,” you growled.

 

“No! Look, I get it, you’re upset-” Sam began.

 

“I’m not upset, Sam! I’m furious! Lucifer killed her in the most _brutal_ way possible and she was scared and alone and it’s our fault that she got involved again! And now she’s gone and Lucifer is _alive_ and we can’t get to him!” you ranted. The tears you’d been holding back were filing your eyes, a few escaping and streaming down your face.

 

Sam opened and closed his mouth, unable to find the right words. He was saved by a rapid knocking at the door. You and Sam shot each other a look and went into ‘hunter mode’, drawing your weapons and hurrying up the stairs. He signed for you to watch the door while he opened it. Positioning yourself several feet from the door, you readied your Angel blade. “One, two, three!” Sam whispered, opening the door on three. What you saw froze you.

 

Rowena stood in the doorway, looking completely fine. “How…what...Rowena?” you stammered. It _couldn't_ be her. But there she was. Her hair was a mess, and her clothes looked as though they’d be thrown on haphazardly, and her makeup was non-existent, but it was her. Taking a second look, she didn’t look fine. Physically, she seemed unharmed. But her eyes were red, her face pale, and she looked…scared.

 

You put away your weapon, quickly wrapping her in a tight hug. She was slow to return the hug, but once she had, she held onto you like you were a life preserver and she was lost at sea. You could feel her trembling in your arms as she hid her face in your neck.

 

“Rowena? What the hell are you doing here? How are you even alive?” Sam asked, putting away his own weapon. “I thought Lucifer killed you for good this time.”

 

Rowena flinched at Lucifer’s name. You tightened your arms around her protectively. “Sam, could we not mention the L word right now?” you asked, shooting him a look that said if he did, he wouldn’t be speaking properly again anytime soon.

 

“Right, sorry,” Sam said, awkwardly clearing his throat.

 

“Could…could I stay here for a bit?” Rowena asked. Her voice was soft and fragile-sounding, with just a little hoarseness.

 

“Of course,” you quickly said, not giving Sam a chance to answer. “Whatever you need.”

 

“Right. I’ll just…go and let Dean know. I should check on him, anyway,” Sam said. In all your grief you’d almost forgotten about Dean. You knew how badly losing Cas-again-had affected him. And the brothers were both dealing with losing their mother after just getting her back.

 

Sam left, his footsteps echoing on the metal staircase. You pulled away from the hug, Rowena reluctantly letting go of you, to close and lock the bunker door. “C’mon, Ro. Let’s go find a room for you,” you said, taking her hand.

 

“Actually,” Rowena began, “would you mind it if I stayed with you in your room? I…don’t want to be alone.” She looked away, her voice fading into a whisper.

 

Your heart broke for her. She’d been through so much. You cupped her face, gently encouraging her to look at you. “Of course I wouldn’t mind. Like I said, whatever you need,” you said. “I’m here for you, Ro.”

 

Rowena gave a small smile. “Thank you, Y/N.”

 

You smiled back. “You’re welcome. Now, I’ll show you the way to my room.” You took her hand again, leading her down the stairs and through the winding halls of the bunker to your room.

 

Your room was a little messy, but luckily you’d done some cleaning recently, so it wasn’t as bad as it could be. “It’s a little small, but I think we can manage,” you said, motioning to the bed. You’d replaced the old, hard mattress that had been there originally with a larger, much more comfortable one. It left you with less space to move about the room, but it was worth it. “If you’re okay with that, anyway,” you hurriedly said, realizing Rowena might _not_ want to share. “I could sleep on the floor, if you’re more comfortable with that.” It would hurt, but luckily you were a blanket hoarder. Enough of those and the floor might not be as bad.

 

“No, it’s fine,” Rowena said. “I don’t mind sharing with you.”

 

“Okay, great. Um, I guess you can wear some of my clothes for now until we can get some for you. I’ll probably do that tomorrow,” you said, rummaging around for something that would fit her. You were surprised she hadn’t brought any of her things, but you supposed it made sense. She’d probably wanted to get to the safest place she could as quickly as possible, even if that meant leaving her things behind.

 

“Than you for all this, Y/N,” Rowena said.

 

“Not at all,” you replied, finding a large t-shirt and some sweat pants. Handing them to her, you said, “They’re not glamorous, but they’re comfortable and they’ll do for now.”

 

She took the clothes without complaint.

 

“Is there anything else you need? For now, anyway?” you asked.

 

“Can you stay with me? At least…for right now? I don’t know if I can fall asleep alone. I don’t know if I want to,” Rowena answered, biting her lip and looking away again.

 

Part of you was itching to get back to research, to find some way to track Lucifer’s kid or find Lucifer himself and make him pay. But Rowena was in front of you right now, alive and looking lost and alone. Lucifer could wait. Your girl needed you.

 

“Yeah, absolutely,” you said. “Let me go talk to Sam and Dean real fast and I’ll be right back.” Rowena nodded and you left to search for Sam and Dean.

 

You found them in the kitchen, where Sam was trying to wake Dean from his drunken coma. Beer bottles littered the floor and table, and Dean’s head was buried in his arms on the table.

 

“I guess that answers my question of ‘How is he’?” you said, wrinkling your nose at the stench of beer.

 

“Yeah, he’s not handling…things very well. None of us really are,” Sam sighed. “How’s Rowena?”

 

“Not great,” you said. “I don't think she’s in the greatest place mentally or emotionally right now.”

 

“I’m not surprised, after what she went through,” Sam said.

 

“No, me neither. But she’s strong. And I’ll help her. She’ll just have to stay here for a while. I don’t think she should be alone for very long. And speaking of, I should get back to her,” you said.

 

“Yeah, however long she needs. I think we all need time,” Sam sighed, looking at Dean. “I guess this means you’re actually going to get some sleep?”

 

You rolled your eyes. “You can stop worrying now. See you tomorrow. Or would it be later today?”

 

“Who knows?” Sam asked, lightly chuckling.

 

You went back to your room, finding Rowena had already changed and was sitting under the covers. She looked up when you entered, looking relieved to see you.

 

“How are they?” Rowena asked.

 

“Not great,” you answered. “But that’s to be expected. Ready to try and get some sleep?” Rowena nodded. “Alright, let me change and we can go to bed.”

 

You changed into your pajamas, another large t-shirt and sweatpants, and crawled under the covers with Rowena. Immediately, she curled into you. You wrapped your arms around her and noticed she was still faintly trembling.

 

“It’s okay, Ro. I’ve got you,” you whispered.

 

“I know,” she whispered back.

 

You reached over to turn off the light. Rowena’s hand darted out and grabbed your wrist. “Wait! I…nevermind,” Rowena said, looking away and releasing your wrist.

 

Realizing what she wanted, but couldn’t make herself say, you left the light on, instead wrapping your arm around her again. “Is there anything else you need?” you asked.

 

“Can…can you hold me? Until I fall asleep?” Rowena asked.

 

“Yeah, I can do that,” you answered, holding her tighter. She rested her head in the crook of your neck, her breath lightly tickling your skin. You gently stroked her arm, hoping it might help her relax. You didn't know whether it was you stroking her arm or just the exhaustion from all that had happened, but within minutes she was falling asleep.

 

She was calm now, but you knew later on she’d have nightmares. You wished there was something you could do to keep the nightmares away, but you knew there was nothing. But, at the very least, you could be there for her when she did have them. Knowing you’d need rest to help her, and to face whatever else was to come, you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by Marrilyn


End file.
